I am velvetine and I was the older woman in Dan's life for twowonderful years. I answered Dan's post on dc.romance in a very unequivocal manner. I was just coming around the corner after a bad marriage and my daughter was finally in high school. We were both hungry as Dan said. Dan told me we will help each other grow a little and it was the start of a beautiful relationship. He also told me that he'd probably leave in a couple of years wherever his job took him and I said it was okay as long as we remained friends.
I asked to meet regularly and for 2 years, we met every Thursday night. He never missed one. He used to come pretty intense and worked up about something or other but usually relaxed after a home-cooked meal and a glass of wine. His favorite dish was fiesta bake. He used to bring one of his CD along, often one he had just bought, and we had some quiet time together. He liked Pink Floyd and modern Celtic music. During the winter of 96, the snow blocked us inside for 3 marvelous whole days. Whenever he had a free weekend from skydiving, we usually went to see a movie or cuddled up with a video. I also went with him on a few Diamond Quest skydiving camps. Since I don't skydive, I was merely following Dan around and that was fine with me. He used to kiss me before the dive, I watched the formation from the ground, and helped him fold his parachute when he came back. That was simple paradise for me.
The only black cloud was something Dan got involved soon after moving to the DC area and prior to our relationship. I couldn't reason with him on it and he wouldn't let go. Dan said this incident shook up his basic instinctive judgment about people. Although Dan was involved in this sad affair throughout much of the time he was in the DC area, it was over sometime before moving to Illinois, but I don't know how much this has affected him later on.
Sometimes, out of the blue, Dan brought me a rose. One of those that they sell in convenience stores. I kept them all along with some of his hair curls. I have to say that nobody brought me flowers before, even my ex-husband. Dan knew that I would cherish those memories, so why not? He refused to let his life ruled by fear. He freely advertised his work address and his home address and phone numbers on the net. There were no half truths with Dan.
Dan made right many things that went wrong in my life and for that I am eternally grateful to him.
He was worried about finding a job after his postdoc at NRL and where to settle down. He left for Illinois with the firm intention to establish some roots. He did feel the need for a home after his mother died. Although it hurt, I understood his need to get on with his life. For me, when he left for Illinois, the music died. But he promised to keep in touch. Dan, you promised to be there!
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